I have never been a checklist kind of person. Whatever I need to do next is always just in my head bouncing around with whatever else has my attention at the moment. While this is a great way to “go green” by not wasting dozens of sticky notes, it is also a great way to “go crazy,” as I’m constantly in this state of verbally reminding myself of my task list. At any given moment, my 10 track mind is bouncing around memories, current events and future tasks all at the same time. This organize chaos in my head has lead to some pretty interesting quirks in my life.
I have become known for location memory. I just made up this term, but it really should be medically diagnosable. Let me explain–I remember things based on where I am located at the moment. If I leave my room in search of my glasses, by the time I get to the kitchen, I’ve forgotten why I left my bedroom. I then have to return to the bedroom in order to remember my journey’s purpose. Typically the cycle does not repeat more than once, but it’s been known to happen. I’ve heard future moms dub this type of memory loss “pregnancy brain,” but seeing as that is not my current condition, I’ve decided to additionally dub it location memory (and also accept that I will need lanyards for all important belongings whenever I am pregnant- if it’s attached to me, I won’t lose it).
The point of all this is that sometimes my brain gets completely overloaded. Imagine if you will your planner. You mark down dates of events. Then you need a grocery list so you throw that on there. And don’t forget so and so’s birthday is this week. And your friend calls to switch the time of dinner tomorrow. And before you know it your planner is a hot mess with three different colors scratching out and replacing various events. Now picture not having that planner. That’s my brain on a daily basis. Goals are great and nice and fun, and everyone should have them, but sometimes it’s nice to take a break from all the big stuff. Sometimes instead of going going and doing doing, it’s better to stop and not do.
This past week has been a wonderful week of don’ts. Don’t worry. Don’t stress. Don’t run errands. I made it a week of don’ts, and believe me, I DIDN’T. Sure, this means I took a step back from being a productive member of society (I still did go to work though, obviously), but it also meant that my stress level went from off the chart to manageable.
I had dinners out, drank wine, saw friends, and watched movies. There was no studying, and no bring home the work nights. I realize this can’t be a regular life “thing” that I do. I can’t constantly detach myself from grown-up life. As fun as it would be to have an “grown-down weeks” where I forgo all responsibility once a month, it’s not too realistic. It did, however, help me realize that it feels really good to let go of goals for brief periods of time and just be. It felt nice to let my legs relax, let my mind stop racing, and let my belly be filled with whatever caught my eye (and let me tell you, my eye for food is ALWAYS wandering in search of the next delicious morsel to consume).
This week I will go back to the intense workouts and homemade dinners, and before I know it my mind will be racing again, but trust me, I will now happily add grown-down DAYS into my schedule. Maybe I’ll even drink some yoo-hoo with a bendy straw.